Ditzy's Favourite Quotes:
"I never met a bowl of Meow Mix I didn't like!" - Ditzy Lebowitz
"If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, pull up a chair." - Dorothy Parker
"I am as pure as the driven slush" - Tallulah Bankhead
All About Ditzy!
Please allow me to introduce myself.
Come to think of it, I really need no introduction, since I am a famous feline superstar, but here goes anyway...
My name is Ditzy Lebowitz, and I am a voluptuous calico kitty of considerable charm and charisma. You might call me pleasingly plump, since I am eighteen pounds of feline pulchritude! I love Meow Mix and it shows.
In fact, I am a walking billboard for that product. In fact, I have given Ralston Purina so many free plugs for Meow Mix, that I think it is only fair that they make me their official "spokescat". Thus far, I have not received a cent from those ingrates! The least they could do is comp me a year's supply of food and put my picture on the sack! Listen, if anyone out there is interested in having me promote their cat food, let me know. My people will call your people. I like saying that! Hollywood-speak is one of the perks of being a feline cyber-celebrity!
For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, and don't know me yet, I'll try to bring you up to speed, although with my fame, or rather notoriety, on the world wide web, you really should know all about me.
My name is a household word, and if that's not the case in your home, you should consider moving!
Ahem, as I was saying, it happened like this...
I was born in a trunk in The Princess Theatre in Pocotello, Idaho. Okay, not really, but it sure worked for Judy Garland. You can't blame a cat for trying!
If truth be told, my origins were humble, probably even humbler than Judy Garland's.
My mother was a beautiful calico kitty of considerable charm and charisma, just like yours truly. My father was a dashing Merchant Marine on shore leave. He was devastatingly handsome, but he left my mother alone and penniless when she was "in the family way".
She was taken in by a kindly gentleman who promised her that he would see that her kittens got placed in good homes when they came into this world.
That gent was as good as his word. Although I was the runt of the litter, he saw my star potential and vowed to find me a suitable human, who would not only adopt me, but recognize my star qualities, and spoil me accordingly. My wait was not long.
One fine day an agreeable human named Ruth, showed up to look at the litter of kitties. I made quite a show of chasing my brothers and sisters around the room, thereby showing her that I had leadership potential.
Then I looked her straight in the eyes, and defied her not to take me home with her. Maybe I am a feline Svengali, because it worked. In a flash, I found myself in a pleasantly carpeted varikennel, on my way to Chez Lebowitz, the humble abode where I would begin my new life with Ruth.
When we arrived, I made the acquaintance of Milo, Otie, and Alison, three felines already in residence at Chez Lebowitz. I instantly insinuated myself into the household. You see, my favourite film of all time is "All About Eve", and of course, I see myself in Anne Baxter's role, except I don't have to go home with George Saunders if you get my drift. Come to think of it, how bad was that? George Saunders was quite a debonair fellow, even if he was manipulative and Machiavellian, two traits which I happen to admire greatly. By the way, George married two of the Gabor sisters, though not at the same time. But I digress...
Ruth was so smitten with me, that she decided to write about me for the internet. She started with a homepage about me for the Purina Cat Chow website. It was a great hit, and thus emboldened, she wrote a story about me called "Purr-fection!", which was very well received. Her next foray into writing for cyberspace was a website all about me, entitled, "Ditzy Lebowitz - Sumokitty!" You see, while I started out as a runt, I fattened up nicely by devouring bowl after bowl of Meow Mix at Chez Lebowitz. I became so rotund that I decided to try, of all things, sumo wrestling. Yes, you heard me right - sumo wrestling! I chose Milo, a handsome orange tabby as my partner of choice, and we became quite well known for our excellence in the sport. Actually I was the true pugilist in the family, but Milo went along happily for the ride.
Before long, I had attracted quite a cult following on the net, and my fans proved quite a loyal crew.
So I started writing stories and websites of my own, which were far superior to anything Ruth has ever written. Sometimes she refers to me as "that feline megalomaniac", which I choose to take as a compliment.
My career is taking off quite nicely. Not only am I a significant presence on the internet, but I am in negotiations with several purveyors of gourment pet food, since my endorsement would make their products
just fly off the shelf. Are you listening, Purina?
I have been working on a screenplay for a feature film.
It's called "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!", which is
hardly a big stretch for me. Besides authoring the screenplay, I will also star and produce this opus, which will be the perfect star vehicle for me. I will be known in Hollywood as a "triple threat"! I can see my name up in lights on the marquis at Graumann's Chinese Theatre. Inevitably, I will put my pawprints in wet cement at that venerable sidewalk.
I can see it all now "Ditzy Lebowitz is Superkitty!"
When in L.A. I shall stay at the Chateau Marmont, because I simply adore its funky ambience! I will order lots of expensive collations from room service and if they don't have "Whisker Lickins'", my nosh of choice, in the mini-bar, I will make a big stink. I have it written in my contracts, that all hotel suites and dressing rooms have bowls of M & M's with the yellow ones picked out. My roadie, Milo shall accompany me on these forays into La-La-Land, and see to it that all accommodations are to my satisfaction. It is always good to have a flunky on retainer.
I will still keep Ruth on the payroll, since she has been quite useful as my abject slave, and I will put Otie and Alison to work as well, since I believe that nepotism belongs at home.
Yes, my future looks bright indeed. My star is definitely in ascendancy, and shall soon be a fixture in the firmament of feline super-stardom.
Not too shabby for a calico kitty of humble origins, if you ask me....
WHAT I LOOK FOR IN PEOPLE AND IN CATS!|
First and foremost, subservience, a valuable trait in both felines and humans!
An abject demeanor when dealing with a star as luminescent as yours truly
Willingness to change litter-boxes around the clock - vigilance in this matter is essential!
Felines and humans who act suitably star-struck in my presence.
Felines and humans who consider me a feline to be worshipped and adored, which can only be considered a reflection of their impeccable taste!
Bottom line - idolize me and serve me.
Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded!
Ditzy's Favourite Things!
Her beloved Meow Mix, both regular flavor and Seafood Middles
Sheba Succulent Crab with Aspic
Sheba Savory Turkey with Giblets
Regularly replenished litter boxes filled with Tidy Step - accept no substitutes
Whisker Lickins' in the mini-bar
The Chateau Marmont with its funky ambience
The Prince by Machiavelli (her bible!)
All About Eve! (Ditzy's favourite movie)
A Star is Born (Hey, it didn't hurt Judy Garland's career)
Sumo Wrestling (gives Ditzy a good excuse to bulk up, preferably on Meow Mix, her carbohydrate of choice!)
Her feline pals, Milo, Alison and Otie (Ditzy makes it a point not to forget "those little people" who knew her when!)
Her abject slave, Ruth (Hey, someone's got to change those litter pans!)
All this and much, much more!
Ditzy's Role Models!
Mussolini (Hey, he made the trains run on time!)
Barbara Streisand (I think she was Mussolini in a past life!)
Bette Davis ("What a dump!" was the first thing Ditzy said to Ruth when she first saw her apartment!)
Dorothy Parker (Hey, she called her parrot "Onan", because he was always spilling his seed!)
Orson Welles (Before he took those little trips to Pepperidge Farm!)
Anne Baxter (Because she played "Eve", in Ditzy's favourite movie!)
Hitler (Not many people knew what a great painter he was! Two coats in one day - amazing!)
Shirley MacLaine (Ditzy was Shirley MacLaine in one of her previous nine lives!)
All this and much, much more!
My friends' home pages, favorite URLs, other pages on my web site.
Talk City chat rooms where you'll find me.
Ditzy Lebowitz - Sumokitty! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a rather rotund calico kitty, whose greatest passions are Meow Mix, her pal Milo, and sumo wrestling!|
Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty, who gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the gritty world of feline celebrity!
Milo Lebowitz - Orange Tabby! - Meet Milo Lebowitz, a handsome orange tabby, whose considerable charm and charisma are exceeded only by his tawny good looks!
Ditzy's Incredible Links List! - Ditzy has compiled a list of her very favourite websites!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Myy Fantabulous Awards! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty who has taken the world wide web by storm. Lots of cool awards!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Calicokitty! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty who has scratched and clawed her way to the top!
Ditzy Lebowitz - My Menagerie! - In which we are introduced to Ditzy's pets, both feline and human!
Ruth Lebowitz - Calicocatgirl! - Meet Ruth Lebowitz, publicist, stage-mother, and abject slave to four celebrity-crazed kitties, Ditzy, Milo, Alison and Otie!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Her Secret Love! -NEW!!! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a gorgeous calico kitty whose greatest passions are Meow Mix and a bear named Abdul the Great! - NEW!!
Otie Lebowitz - Sweet Kitty! - Meet Otie Lebowitz, a sweet and petite tuxedo kitty, with a serious penchant for furry mice!
Milo Lebowitz - Bachelor Tabby! - Meet Milo Lebowitz, a debonair orange tabby, who expounds on his charmed life as a bachelor cat at Chez Lebowitz!
Alison Lebowitz - One Sweet Tabby! - Meet Alison Lebowitz, a sweet tiger-striped tabby, who taught her human valuable lessons about cats, life, and love!
Ruth Lebowitz - Purrs from Calicocatgirl! - Meet Ruth Lebowitz and her four cyber-celebrity kitties, Ditzy, Milo, Alison and Otie!
Meet Milo Lebowitz - Handsome Tabby! - Meet Milo Lebowitz, a handsome orange tabby cat, who considers himself
Milo and Otie Lebowitz - Cyberkitties! - Meet Milo and Otie Lebowitz, two adopted kitties, who find fame, if not fortune, on the world wide web!
Meet Ditzy Lebowitz - Superstar! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty, who has followed in the tradition of Seinfeld, and written a story about nothing!
Ditzy Lebowitz Goes Hollywood! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty who is going Hollywood in a really big way!
Otie Lebowitz - Feline Muse! - Meet Otie Lebowitz, a bewitching tuxedo kitty, who discusses with refreshing candor, her many lives and loves!
Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at Howdy's Topsites Contest! - Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at Howdy's Topsites Contest!
Vote for Ruth Lebowitz at Webbie World! - Vote for Ruth Lebowitz - Purrs from Catgirl at Webbie World - Top 40!
View Ditzy's Special Guestbook! - View Ditzy's Special Guestbook!
Sign Ditzy's Special Guestbook! - Sign Ditzy's Special Guestbook - html code accepted!
Vote for Ditzy at Soprano Connections! - Vote for Ditzy at Soprano Connections!
Vote for Ditzy at Soprano Connections - Top 100! - Vote for Ditzy at Soprano Connections - Top 100!
Meet Ruth Lebowitz - Calicocatgirl! - Meet Ruth Lebowitz, publicist, stage-mother and abject slave to four celebrity kitties, Ditzy, Milo, Alison and Otie!
Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at The Site Fights! - Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at The Site Fights!
Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, a spunky calico kitty, who gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the gritty world of feline cyber-celebrity!
View Ditzy's Very Special Guestbook at Google! - View Ditzy's Very Special Guestbook at Google - Includes Awards and Banners!
Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at R & C's Topsites Contest! - Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at R & C's Topsites Contest!
Vote for "Milo Lebowitz - Bachelor Tabby!" at Ferretmom's Top Pet Sites Contest! - Vote for "Milo Lebowitz - Bachelor Tabby!" at Ferretmom's Top Pet Sites Contest!
Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at Skye's Top Pet Sites Gala! - Vote for "Ditzy Lebowitz - Superkitty!" at Skye's Top Pet Sites Gala!
Meet Ditzy Lebowitz - Cyberkitty! - Meet Ditzy Lebowitz, an amiable calico kitty, who expounds on her charmed life as a feline celebrity, residing at Chez Lebowitz!
TownTalk - Great place to meet people.|