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Otie Lebowitz - Feline Muse! |
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Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a cat of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long, long time... No, I am not the devil, and I don't need your sympathy. I just wanted to get your attention, so you will keep reading my narrative. Well, it worked didn't it? My name is Otie Lebowitz, and I am a sweet and petite tuxedo kitty, of considerable charm and charisma. I also have a serious penchant for furry mice, and my human webmistress, Ruth often remunerates me for editorial work I have done for her, by keeping me in a steady supply of those murine cuties. I really do love mice! But I digress... I have quoted "Sympathy for the Devil" not just as a ploy to grab your attention, but also because I was a mistress of Mick Jagger's in one of my former lifetimes. While cats are purported to have nine lives, that is actually an understatement. I can recall at least 15 lives lived thus far, and there were probably others that have been murkily clouded in my memory. Yes, there was a time when I was not only Mick's lover, but also his muse. You see, I have been a muse to many great musicians, poets, and authors, in both feline and human avatars. You probably associate the lovely ballad, "As Tears Go By", with Marianne Faithfull. However, it was I, Otie Lebowitz who inspired this song, and I even whispered the lyrics subliminally into Mick's ear, while he was in the sweet arms of Morpheus. Yes, like the aforementioned Lucifer, I have been around for a long, long time. I do believe one of my first avatars was as the Egyptian cat goddess, Bastet. My brother, Milo was King Tutankhamen's favorite feline adviser, although he has no recollection of his previous incarnation. If truth, be told, that past lifetime is a bit murky to me - but I do get flashbacks now and then of that time when I was worshipped and adored by a multitude of true believers. However, I recall my later avatars much more clearly, and thus, have taken quill firmly in paw, to write these memoirs for your enjoyment and edification. As I have already mentioned, I have been a muse many times over. I am not one given to idle boasting, unlike my brother, Milo, and my rambunctious feline roommate, Ditzy, who is reveling in her cyber-celebrity lifestyle. Why that amiable but self-promoting calico, would go to an opening of an envelope these days! Ah, once again, I digress... One of my happiest memories, was when I was one of Ernest Hemingway's feline companions. While it is true that his reputation was that of a macho writer, he was really quite a sensitive man. He was just over-compensating for his true nature, by bragging both in public and in his fiction. But I knew him far better, and had an active role in his literary career. Did you know that originally, Ernest wanted to call one of his finest novels, "The Moon Sometimes Rises"! I didn't pull any punches, and told him - "Listen, Ernest - that is a terrible title! Nobody will read that book. How about calling it, "The Sun Also Rises"? Fortunately, he appreciated me for the muse that I was, and made the necessary correction. The rest is literary history! One of my favourite memories, was when I lived with Paul Gallico, the poet laureate of the cat world. I was the one who taught him all about the time-honored art of "The Silent Miaow", whereby a cat can speak volumes without uttering a sound - not a single syllable. Paul was quite taken with this concept, and at my suggestion, wrote a book by that title, which has charmed felines and feline-fanciers alike, for many years, and is regarded as a classic. His novel, "Thomasina" was similarly inspired by yours truly. I even helped him write the first chapter, and eventually edited the entire manuscript. Yes, that was indeed a very happy time for me - probably one of my favourite lifetimes. Now everyone knows that Thomas Stearns Eliot, wrote a popular collection of poems, "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats". It even went on to become the basis for a Broadway extravaganza, which became one of the most popular plays in the history of the musical theatre. But did you know that Eliot had originally commenced a collection of poems called "Doggy Do's and Doggy Don'ts"! I really put my paw down on that one, and fortunately quashed the idea. I told him "Listen, Thomas - that is the stupidest title for a collection of poems! Besides, you know nothing about dogs! Write about what you know - you know cats, right? Thank goodness he heeded my sage counsel, or there never would have been any collection of cat poems, and definitely no musical entitled "Cats". Come to think of it, Andrew Lloyd Webber owes me big-time. Don't you think I deserve some royalties for my contribution, which led to such riches for him? He is ungrateful! I am glad I was never his cat, believe you me! Now very few people know this, but I was the favoured pet of the famous Victorian neurasthenic, Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The common belief is that she had a cocker spaniel named "Flush", who had been kidnapped, and even immortalized in a eponymous novel by Virginia Woolf. True there was a dog named "Flush", but he was really stupid. Nothing there between the ears, if you get my drift! However, it was I who inspired "Sonnets from the Portuguese". She wrote those sonnets for me, not for Robert Browning. I was concerned that since I was so charismatic, I could easily eclipse her in her literary career. I told her - "Listen, Elizabeth - Don't write about me, and don't tell anyone I helped you write those poems. Just say you had a dog named "Flush", who meant all the world to you. I don't want to get recognition that you justly deserve. So write about Flush. Unlike me, he's not at all charismatic, and you, not he will get all the attention. Fortunately, Elizabeth listened to me, and wrote about Flush, and she got full credit for "Sonnets from the Portuguese, and went on to marry Robert Barrett Browning, who adored her poems, doted on Flush, and was none the wiser! I really hate to brag, but did you know that I was responsible for the "Theory of Relativity", which has erroneously been attributed to Albert Einstein? I shall explain. I was one of Einstein's favourite cats. He really loved cats and related to them better than he did to many humans, especially of the female persuasion. He just adored his kitties, and often sought solace in the company of felines. One fine day Albert said to me "Otie - I am going to write a book about how the earth is really flat and not round, as is the common misconception." Although I knew that Albert had flunked basic algebra, I was taken aback by this declaration of his. I knew that if he published a treatise on that theory, he would be a laughing stock and shunned by the public and his peers. They would probably evict him from his tony digs at The Institute for Advanced Studies" at Princeton. What a dilemma! Fortunately, I was there to set things right. When he asked me for my opinion about his new theory, I replied, "Albert - everything is relative, you know. At least, that's my theory!" That night I crept on little cat feet to his bed and whispered in his ear, "E=MC2"! It's relative Albert. It's relative. Tell everybody! Need I say more? Einstein dropped his original project, wrote the "Theory of Relativity", and achieved recognition as one of the greatest geniuses of our time. I am so glad that I was there to help Albert in his time of need. I generously let him think it was all his idea, since I truly loved the man, even if he was a bit of a "dim bulb" at times. Well, I think by now you get the picture. I have been rather an influential feline in my past lives, and have even changed the course of literary history, and even civilization as we know it today. No too shabby a past, if you ask me...
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